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Every square inch, no, every square millimetre of that material clung to the warm skin hidden underneath. The only crease in the material was the vertical one between her cheeks, which split into two and curved around where her thighs met the rise of her buttocks. "What do we need, Jerry?" I was brought back to the mundane realities of life with a dull thud by my wife's question. How could I possibly be expected to debate the merits of yams versus sweet potatoes when my thoughts were filled with visions of perfection? "Yams, broccoli, and onions," I said automatically, "and a video camera," I muttered under my breath, as I desperately tried to hold on to the mental images of that incredible bottom. "Oh, don't forget we need a packet of Bisto as well, sweetie." "Bisto browns, Bisto seasons, Bisto thickens, all in one go, so...... pass the gravy, ahhh, Bisto!" Isn't it amazing how those silly advertising tag-lines stick in your brain for decades? The delightful mental images of The. I scan the images vigorously til the point of erection. I then take what seems to be hours deciding on which video to rent. I make a decision and grab a movie that has an "actor" dressed up like Dracula. Feeling that I made a really wise choice, I proceed to the counter and plop down the box. The clerk says, " I see you like the long pornos". I nervously shake my head in agreement as he retrieves the videocassette. I pay my rental fee and head on home. That evening I slide the tape in the VCR and press play. I see the title card and prepare for a two hour jack-off session. To my chagrin its a damn softcore European film in subtitles. I was clearly disappointed in my choice. The movie wasn't at all titilating as I thought it was. A couple of days pass and I'm returning the movie and this time, with more confidence, I enter the adult section of the store and begin another search for real porn. Row after row same thing...couples posing on the cover with the crazy 80's.
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